We have sextoys that vibrate, oscillate, and thrust. Others stroke, suck, and occasionally even lick. A few more are smarter than the average, allowing for high tech, long-distance arousing, or interacting with porn videos.
Now, compliments of a partnership between two industry giants, we have an anal device that finds or, better yet, puts the music in you.
So what is the Lumen, how does it do its throbbing-to-tuneage thing, along with its other unique features, and should you add it to your sextoy collection?
Let’s talk Lumen
It’s one thing to have a product from the sexually innovative minds of OhMiBod, who’ve brought us products like the Fuse, Pulse III Duo—many we’ve reviewed here at Teledildonics—but another when it’s something built in partnership with that other big-brain sextech leader, Kiiroo. A company that’s given us the Keon, Pearl 2, and the Onyx+—a lot we’ve looked at here, as well.
So right off the mark, the brand new Lumen has a remarkable and impressive family tree as OhMiBod and Kiiroo are equally well known for excellence in manufacturing, pushing the sextech industry forward in unexpected and imaginative ways, and delivering sextoys providing powerful and effective sexual stimulation like nothing else.
For the Lumen, they’ve turned their attention to anal play. This is immediately evident in how their product takes an important page from the playbook on how to do this sexual activity safely.
I’m referencing the inescapable reality that although a large number of things can be put up your or someone else’s posterior, that doesn’t mean they should be. Just ask your nearest emergency room staffer, who’ll be glad to regale you with endless tales of having to extract all sorts of objects.
The Lumen, however, has a large base, so there’s no risk of it getting into something it can’t get out of it. This base also contains its brains: the electronics that give it the ability to deliver arousing vibrations to the other, more conical, part of the toy.
And along with the toy’s smarts, the base is where the Lumen’s name comes from, as it has a LED light that can pulse right along with the toy’s anal vibrating actions.
How the Lumen lights the way
Why this is a feature is explained on the LoveLife site as it gives a user’s lover a visual way to stay in sync with what their partner is feeling to help forge a mutual sexual experience between them.
But that’s not all, as enabled by the toy’s wireless Bluetooth connectivity, the Lumen can work with OhMiBod’s Remote app. When this link is established, the app can be set up to make the Lumen respond to music or ambient noise. Respond in this unique case by throbbing along with your preferred baseline and flashing its LED namesake to the same beat.
So you could call the Lumen the first disco sextoy: the ideal thing to wear if you want to have a party in your wear—and everyone’s invited (if that’s your thing).
What the Lumen brings to the party
Another sign a company understands the joys of anal sex is how they haven’t skrimped on the horsepower—and the shared expertise of OhMiBod and Kiiroo demonstrate their known-how here by providing the Lumen with a big, beefy motor that can deliver four different pre-set types of heavy-duty vibrations.
All done compliments of OhMiBod’s Remote app to do this and a whole lot more, including setting up the toy to act and react to another smart product, so what happens to it will be wirelessly transmitted to this other sextech device. And the same in reverse, where it’ll do its anal pleasuring thing when a partnered smart vibrator or similar anal plaything is synched up to it.
Using the Lumen with OhMiBod’s Remote app
This steamy dream of long-distance lovers everywhere can be measurably hotter as OhMiBod’s Remote app leads the way in teledildonics coolness by having an Apple Watch version along with their Android and iPhone app.
While it doesn’t have the same number of features, it has one that pegs the sextech coolness meter (patent pending) to eleven: the way it uses the Apple Watch’s pulse rate monitor to control toys like the Lumen.
To give you an idea of what this is like, picture having a Lumen, an Apple Watch for you and your partner, and a pair of smartphones—all with the OhMiBod Remote App installed on them.
After each component is set to talk to every other one via Bluetooth, the first Apple Watches can be tuned to receive the second wearer’s heartbeats and zap those squishy rhythms over to the second, so each partner can feel the other’s pulse.
But things get really arousing when the Apple Watches are tied to a Lumen or any smart device that’s compatible with OhMiBod Remote, allowing the toy or toys to beat in perfect, arousing syncopation.
Other fun tricks the Lumen can do
The good times keep on coming, as the OhMiBod Remote App additionally can be set up to kick up a toy’s pulses in concert with your choice of music or the sounds you or anyone else in the room with you are making.
There’s also the option to create your own customized playlist of vibrations that, if you’ve made one that totally rocks you sexually, you can share it with someone else if you want.
Staying with music, the OhMiBod Remote App pulls off another neat trick by working seamlessly with Apple Music or Spotify. It even gives you the means to put together a series of songs specifically designed to work with your Lumen.
If you’re wearing one, these musical selections can be controlled with your Apple Watch, as well. Ideal if you find it frustrating trying to use a smartphone and a sextoy at the same time.
Charging the Lumen and its battery life
Following the current trend in sextech design, the Lumen comes with a power cord that magnetically attaches to the toy. Further attesting to OhMiBod and Kiiroo’s top-notch quality control, this system works quite well with the typical caution to make sure the Lumen isn’t accidentally knocked around as despite how well the Lumen’s version of this technology works, it can still get unexpectedly disconnected.
When it comes to how long it takes to fully charge the Lumen against how much playtime you can expect to have using it, the numbers are not in its favor, coming in at two and a half hours for an hour of enjoyment.
Like similar toys are built to do a lot while packed into a minimal shape, this isn’t disappointing. To provide perspective, if the Lumen weren’t an anal sex toy that needs a motor powerful, been given brains as well as that mechanical brawn, and equipped with an LED to beat long with its vibrations, then I’d be energetically tisk-tisking at whoever made it.
But since it does all this and a lot more on a two-and-a-half-hour charge for an hour of anal sex pleasure, it isn’t worthy of complaining about.
How the Lumen measures up
The Lumen’s insertable dimensions come in at around four inches in length, nearly three inches in width, and one and a half in diameter.
If you’re familiar with anal sex and the toys available for it—and if not, please educate yourself thoroughly before trying anything involving it out—then you know these aren’t one-size-fits-all playthings.
Because when you start, small is going to feel like too big, though after some experience, and you and your body get more and more used to how anal plugs feel, you’re going to have to up your game—and the size of your toys.
So how familiar you are with anal sex toys will play a large part in your final decision whether or not a lot like the Lumen will be too much or not enough.
Keeping your Lumen clean
Another thing about anal sex toys is that cleanliness is important, even above Godliness.
Fortunately, OhMiBod and Kiiroo understand this as well and have made the Lumen with phthalate-free silicone, so it’s comfortable and easy to clean.
Though it might be tempting, doubly so as we’re all trying to cope with life during a raging pandemic, please resist the urge to overdo it when it comes to cleaning your Lumen or any other silicone toy. Boiling water, for instance, while it’ll completely sterilize your favorite plaything, will do it at the cost of destroying it.
The same is true for using acetone or other types of harsh cleaners. Instead, applying warm water with a minimal amount of antibacterial soap will do the job and won’t end up ruining the toy in the process.
If you remain concerned, there’s nothing wrong with putting an anal sex-appropriate condom over the toy, making cleaning easier and perhaps making it more comfortable to use, especially if you’re new to this whole anal sex thing.
What you get with a Lumen
With the charging plug I’ve already mentioned, purchasers of a Lumen get a satin bag to put it in when it’s not in use and a user’s manual to answer any questions you might have about setting it up, maintaining it, and what to do should something go wrong.
On that, the Lumen comes with a one-year warranty on parts and manufacturing. But as this is the brainchild of OhMiBod and Kiiroo, I wouldn’t concern yourself too much about it breaking down, though it’s still nice to have this security blanket.
- Manufactured by OhMiBod and Kiiroo: two companies know for producing high-end sextoys
- High powered motor with four pre-set vibrations
- LED light responds to the toy’s actions
- Works with OhMiBod’s Remote app
- App allows for long-distance interactivity
- Version of app available for Apple Watch
- Might be too small or too big, depending on your experience with anal sex toys
- 2.5 hours charge needed for one of use
- Could be over-engineered if smart sextoys aren’t your thing
So we finally get to my ultimate word on whether or not I think the Lumen should be an addition to your sexual activities.
I’m tempted to do my usual depends here as it really does hinge on if you do or don’t like anal stimulation and the amount of experience you have with toys designed for it—as I mentioned, if you have a lot, then it may not be enough for you and if you have little or none it could be uncomfortable—but I’m going to hopefully surprised you by not.
As I think the Lumen is what happens when a pair of sextech industry mavens pool their considerable resources and brainpower, with a copious helping of playful imagination, to give us a wildly exciting new toy.
So most assuredly, I say that you should get your anal sex party on with this product that kicks up the beats, strobes along with your good times, is smart enough to know better but too sexy to care, and is guaranteed to trip your light fantastic!